Mouse paws

Let me tell you a little about my traumatic date on Sunday night, the date that ended it all, the date that has convinced me to get me to a nunnery. It was so destabilizing that it has taken me 4 days to blog about it. And he looked so cute in his picture too.

When I saw him across the street, waiting in front of the restaurant, I saw this meek dish rag of a man in oversized clothes. My cardiovascular muscle died a little. And then, once we started eating, his hands were like little mouse paws gripping the silverware. Somehow we got on the topic of Los Angeles beaches, and he said, “But you aren’t the bikini wearing type.”…to this, I had no answer. He followed up with, “because you are so innocent-like.” He later said felt obligated to hug me goodbye, but it was no casual hug. He made sure to momentarily put his head on my shoulder, like a needy child. I wanted to find a foster home for him while simultaneously gagging on a bit of vomit.
…
I hope he never spawns.