I might be a lesbian.

And not because I’m tired of boys. But because there is a cool lady lesbian in my office. She’s supa cool. I want to make her my friend. She could show me how to dress so my shoulders flare out more, and I could stare into her sparkling bonnie blues. I want to ask her on a lady-date.

But it cannot be, she has a serious girlfriend. Alas, twas better to have loved and not really lost, then to have never loved the office lesbian—I think that’s how the saying goes?