People are more likely to get sick and die young if they're lonely*

Crap!

Now I have to spend every night being creepy in a bar or hitting on barely legal teens at the local malt shop or inticing toddlers to get into my unmarked car by sticking a lollipop through the fence at Kindercare.


*http://www-news.uchicago.edu/citations/07/070914.cacioppo-wp.html