Omnicom Set to Cut Up to 3,500 Jobs

That was the subject line of an email I received today from a breaking news source of everything advertising. I think the line is a testament to the English language's power of ambiguity. English can deceive, without ever showing any intent.

For example, after reading this line, I thought the giant holding company "Omnicom" was going to create thousands of paper representations of all the people they employ/jobs they have, and just literally cut them up - with scissors. Like a mad man. Just cut up peoples hopes and dreams. And sprinkle them all over the floor. And the people whose jobs were just cut up would have to tread carefully on their way out, holding their cardboard box of belongings, so as not to trip on the shreds of humanity scatted all over the floor.

But 5 minutes later, I realized that "Omnicom would cut jobs...up to 3,500 jobs."

Oh English, you are a fickle mistress.

So tomorrow morning, when your alarm starts beeping for you to wake up, ponder this:

DId your alarm go off? OR, DID YOUR ALARM GO ON?

...

This is Keanu Reeves deep, I know.