The Job

...No, not like a robbing type of "The Job." Man, I wish I had a gang of fellows and we could pull off a heist together. I would defniately shout into my walkie talkie, "WHERE'S THE VAN, MAN? WHERE'S THE VAN?!!!" as I hold a satchel full of jewels and Euros.... .... ok, yes, I shamelessly stole that from Dane Cook. I don't even like Dane Cook, not after he started getting all big and what not.

Holy crap I'm so easily sidetracked.

But ya, today was my first day at work. Everyone in the office was so busy, they kind of forgot to give me stuff to do, but it's cool. Being brand new to a place always kinda sucks- you're all awkward and what not, fumbling over sentences, bubming head first into cabinets and cutting your lip as you are introduced to the Head of a department. And then a salty warm taste starts filling your mouth as you blink back tears of pain and smile as you shake her hand. Actually that happened yesterday when I was at the Bank, but the scenario was about the same.

I'm awkwardness incarnate.

I was so nervous this morning, I couldn't even drink a cup of coffee. Good thing I'm not also taking the diet drug "Alli". The anal leakage, which is a side effect of the drug burning off 20% of ingested fat, would have been disasterous on a day like this.

I also wore a suit today and was completely overdressed. People thought I was much older than I really am, so they thought I knew what I was doing. It was uncomfortable when they asked a question and I immediately looked out the window. No, it wasn't anything like that, I exagerate.