The NY Bestselling list must = crap

While passing the day away in a Borders, I skimmed through the New York Bestselling “How to be a Skinny Bitch.” I wasn’t perturbed by the author’s 1) veganism, 2) sexism, 3) retarded title, and 4) employment of countless crass similes- I was willing to forgive her all those things.

But one crucial point tested my patience beyond reason: “Give up DIET COKE.” She proceeded to list all the abhorrent chemicals used in Diet Coke, and pointed out that it has Formaldehyde in it, thus preserveing fat cells. Reading that, I momentarily entertained the idea of giving up Coke. But that thought was quickly interrupted by a wave of tears and extreme itchiness. I had to promptly leave the bookstore and purchase two Diet Cokes.

She also advocated dumping milk, coffee, caffeine, beer, animal protein, pleasure, enjoyment, life, etc. If that kind of book can be a bestseller, I might as well write one advocating the mental benefits of not wearing underwear.

If drinking Coke is wrong, I don’t want to be right.