I've decided that my only lifelong career aspiration is to be a badass- I don't care what in, the only goal being, to be a badass. But, this probably won't come around until I'm 30 at the earliest, which kinda sucks because that's when the modern woman should be pooping out a baby...and it doesn't just end there. That's like 22 years of servitude, and judging from my own family's experience, that is a very expensive and emotionally draining endevour. SOOO, the solution to this dilemma, which I've been contemplating in my head like a fine Jello overnight pudding...is to be a lesbian. Yes yes, I talk and talk about how great lesbians are, but seriously...check it:
1) Become a lesbian.
2) By 26, find lesbian of dreams and hang some curtains.
3) By 29, we say, "ok. time for some youngsters."
4) "We" decide that she'll carry the baby. I appropriate some sperms from one of my brothers because surely it must be all over the house. We use that, she carries the baby, and then I get a genetic kid with my luv-a.
5) I reach badass status by 30 with no delays or future detours.
How one solves the modern woman dilemma has troubled me for over a year, and finally today, while walking up the hill, it came to me. SF is magic.
3 comments:
Then you'll have a nephew-child!
Candyce... It's been six days since you've posted a blog. Where are you? Did creepy mouse-hands get to you? I'll give you two more days, then I'm calling your parents.
Thanks for checking in on me! I haven't written in the past week b/c I got tired of reading my own writing. Not to worry, new post coming today.
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