Office Lingo

I can't say I'm a fan of the special office jargon that some dumb dumb decided would somehow make the work place more efficient. Sure, how one chooses one's words can have a great impact on the performance/general attitude of others, so of course, one should be careful, especially if in positions of power, as to how one chooses one's words. (I think you love the third person.)

So if I have a "problem", what I really have, is a "concern."

If I need to "confront a problem", what I really have is a "challenge."

my "work load" is really my "bandwidth"

"easy targets" = "low hanging fruit"

"don't understand" = "struggling"

For example, if what I really want to say to my boss is:
"Yo. I'm not Kirshna; I've only got two hands. As such, you need to hire some more people - that or light some fires under some butts because I ain't doing other people's work for them anymore."
Then she would say, "I'm struggling with your attitude. I challenge you to better your outlook and look for positive ways to contribute to the team."

But in office lingo, I actually say:
"Greetings. Might I have a brief word with you? I'm concerned with my bandwidth...time allocations...blah blah blah....omelette du fromage ...."
And then she says, "We will hire another person. This situation is only temporary and I thank you for your patience."

First way is natural. Second way makes me sound like a douche, but second way gets me what I want, so unfortunately, I fall into the trap of using office lingo.

But I think it would be much more efficent to just get to the point. No, the above example is not a good one as it is just rude.

But for example, if the leader of the Rebel Squadron just said, "The Deathstar is a huuge PROBLEM. If we don't blow that thing up, we will die or be enslaved." Straight to the point - I'd be motivated to hop in my A-Wing and fly around shooting laser beams like a madman.

But in office lingo, Squadron Leader Skywalker would have to say, "Undoubtedly, I'm struggling with how we might overcome the recent concern that is the Deathstar. I challenge us to come up with a plan to obliterate the Deathstar. This plan might focus on any weak points or low hanging fruit."

What?!! Ain't no one even gonna know what that means! If Skywalker had posed the question in the latter form, no one would have figured out that the Deathstar can easily be destroyed by shooting an Alliance A-Wing laser beam down a highly visible, easily navigable maintenance tunnel. If no one had figured this out, the Empire would never need to strike back because they would have won. That's right, the dark side would have won. Vis-a-vis, office lingo is evil because it causes the Sith Lords to take power and the dark side wins.

Q.E.D.