The Lord's Prayer

Please God, I know I haven't spoken to you in awhile, mainly because you don't exist.

But if you did, you would be a projection of what I think a Judeo-Christain God might look like, and I think you would look like a cross between Will Ferrell and that long haired guy who works in my office and cheated on his wife.

Anyways God, please let Obama win the Democratic Nomination. I don't want to be depressed the way I was when Bush won the 2004 Presidential Election. The day after that election, I wandered the streets of South Side Chicago for 3 days in an unbathed, oily faced stupor - still smelling like the nacho cheese that I'd munched on the night before to keep me awake while I waited for all the precinct results to come in. (Granted, such a state was not much different from the way I spent the entire 4 years of college, but nonetheless, that election made me incredibly depressed.)

And on a less selfish note, I think Obama would just be a much better president than Clinton. I think Obama embodies the kind of ilimitable possibilities that we haven't honestly thought were plausible since Kennedy.

So El Senor,
On Super Tuesday night, I lay me down to sleep,
I pray thee Lord, give Obama the presidency to keep.
And if Clinton win before I wake,
I pray thee Lord, rig the vote that America make.

The End. FIN. Hallelujah...or however one concludes a prayer.

P.S. Brian Williams of the NBC National Newscast is delicious.